Paris Through Tender Eyes
Bonjour mes amis,
Paris is my heart. I waited to see it for a long time, not coming for my first visit until I was 56! Having traveled a great deal even in France, I had surprisingly never been to Paris. Fate…Karma…God, (call it what you wish,) saved Paris for me to experience with Bernie. Now I am 78 and he is 85 and oh, the memories we have accumulated, many of them with some of you! When I’m not here, I miss it terribly; when I am here I both love it and occasionally hate it. It defines who I am both when the fun times are easy and when the difficult moments threaten to take me down. It surprises me by my own grit and ability to cope. And as I age, I see the cracks in my stamina and wish for those younger days.
It’s hard to be somewhere besides home to set up shop. But we have done it now for 22 years rather successfully. Sometimes it’s the little things, both positive and negative, which have the greatest effect on us. As my final post for the year, I’ve kept a list (!) of the good and the bad. Also how we both have changed over the years. This post is a bit intimate but then we’ve been friends for many years on this blog so a little intimacy is perhaps in order.
Let’s begin with the positive aspects of this year’s visit.
-The fashion is much better among the locals, and I mention this because I have bemoaned its deterioration over time. It’s not as good as it was in 2004 but definitely an uptick in flare and elegance.
-The Navigo cards have completely replaced the little paper subway tickets, and though there is some nostalgia over losing them, they were cumbersome and hard to handle. The Navigo is much faster because it does not have to be inserted into anything…just a quick tap and you’re through the turn style. It even works through your wallet or purse or backpack! If you still have some, you can use them for maybe another year, but you cannot buy additional ones.
-There is a very noticeable difference to us in the service in restaurants. The waiters are generally very pleasant, the food comes much faster and getting “le addition” or the tab doesn’t take thirty minutes. Dining is meant to be a slow, enjoyable experience in Paris and will still take an hour and a half at a minimum. Sadly, we have noticed how very addicted people are to their cell phones while dining. Most Parisians are still quite slim but the portions are getting larger! Parisians eat heartily and almost always clean their plates. Failing to is taken as a bit of a slight.
-Credit card and other digital usage in some form or fashion is the standard of payment, and cash is going away, just like in the USA. Self check-outs are the norm in the larger stores. You can build a case both positive and negative about this, but the digital world is here to stay.
-All shops, cafés and restaurants are open on Sundays. Occasionally, you’ll see a local business like a hair salon that is closed, but Sunday is now a regular and busy shopping day. The mornings are quiet but by 2pm, things are hoppin’. I remember well when one had to plan what you were going to eat from Saturday to Monday as all but one grocery store per neighborhood was closed on Sundays. And that one only open until noon. Most restaurants were closed. Were those the good ole days? Maybe so, maybe not!
-There are new delightful little coffee and pastry shops everywhere!! Our old stand-by, Miss Manon, indeed has mega competition.
-We have slept longer and better this year and taken more naps in the afternoon. I’ve never been a napper but fell prey to that this time. It’s not a bad thing just another indication of age.
-Speaking of which, I have never failed to get offered a seat on the Metro. I remember the first time that happened about four years ago and I was taken aback. Now I am delighted and appreciative.
-Bernie and I both have gotten suntans, Bernie more so because he tans so easily. The sun has been hot, hot, hot. Seems more piercing and penetrating here. Jim Bilbro, is there a scientific reason for that, like the tilt of the earth??
-Paris still has my cherished café gourmand on almost every dessert carte. Still in my opinion the cheapest and best way to add a bite of sweet to your meal and very easy to partager or share.
-The one true abiding constant in Paris is the river, the beautiful Seine which remains the soul of Paris and always the focus of so much joy and beauty. If only it could talk and tell us all the age-old tales from the past. It soothes and reminds us of the joy of being outside in God’s bounteous world. We didn’t take a dip, however… just a little much for me.
-And of course and most importantly are the reconnections with the wonderful friends we have made here as well as uniting with what’s remaining of Bernie’s family. It’s hard to even think about those ties coming to an end.
Now on to some negatives because there are definitely some. The rose colored glasses came off years ago!
-Paris is dirtier (in my opinion) this year, more than ever. They try very hard to keep it clean but the sheer numbers of people trodding across the city outweigh their efforts. Bernie disagrees!
-Paris is busier than ever before. No respite much from the masses…very few cozy, quiet spots anymore to enjoy. There are just TOO MANY PEOPLE, and I wonder where it will end. Tourism is great for the economy but if I lived here all the time, I would absolutely hate it. I can understand why the locals have pushed back so vehemently against the love locks on the bridges. This is their city and the tourists are defacing it. I must add that the Marais is one of the most popular areas so I’m sure there are quiet streets to be had, but not where we love to be.
-The pace in Paris is thus faster than before. Maybe it’s my vertigo that has made everything seem to be moving more quickly, along the sidewalks, inside the Metro, in stores and cafés. The bicycles everywhere contribute mightily to this. They FLY down the road and many do not abide by the traffic signals so you truly take your life in your hands trying to cross major thoroughfares. We’ve always been fast walkers, but this year, I’ve needed the strength and guidance of Bernie’s hand to steady me. That has been most discouraging and sometimes embarrassing!
-There is a terrific amount of road construction making way for those bicycles, taxis and buses and that adds to the disruption, dust and confusion.
-Not surprisingly, I must mention the heat on older bodies is more difficult. That’s a fact of life and not easily fixed. More and more places are air-conditioned but that’s going to be a slow process of change.
-No fans in the bathrooms. It’s like an oven after a shower.
-The constant battle with how to open things, how to start things, how to enter and leave a building, how to figure out electronics. These little daily hiccups are what drive me crazy. I can’t explain it but it’s all very different. Things like removing a piece of Saran Wrap to cover food is a joke, as is opening detergent or food packaging or starting the washing machine, turning on a faucet, operating the shower, dishwasher, etc. etc. etc. It’s all in what you’re used to. I’m prone to say, “Why do the French have to make the simplest things so hard?” Like changing the bed!!!
-Prices in all restaurants are significantly more this year, up by 15 to 20%!
-No icemaker, no disposal, no decent vacuum cleaner…the list could go on and on. This is where you just press forward and shut up about your frustration. Our friend Richard was complaining about customer service among an array of other things; I stopped him and said, “So why do you all stay?” He spun his head around with some fair amount of shock and said, “Because all the rest is so wonderful!” And there you have it. What you give up is far less than what you get in return. I would definitely agree!
-Such terribly uncomfortable tables and chairs at outdoor cafés. Again, a function of age, I’m sure. And make no mistake, they are very fussy about those tables and chairs. Best not to disturb them without a waiter’s assistance!
-And lastly, the big bear of contention for both of us is Bernie’s loss of hearing. It is a bit maddening, sometimes funny, many times not. I confess that I don’t handle it well enough, given that Bernie cannot help this affliction. His hearing aids are helpful but not sufficient enough to solve the problem. Oh well, onward and upward. Such is life.
So, a few remarks about how we each have changed. I am much more realistic about the challenges we face, much less interested in going 90 miles an hour all the time (because I simply can’t do it anymore) and try very hard to just slow down and relax. Bernie has really gotten on the pro-health kick: he hasn’t bought a single baguette and almost no cheese during the entire visit; I have to twist his arm to share a dessert with me and he absolutely MUST walk at least 6000 steps a day. He hasn’t much interest in Le Tour de France but still has avid interest in wine though he does dilute it with water. All of this is good but so different. It’s also a bit sad to me. He wants to return to Paris again and works hard in the direction of his health. He’s reduced his blood pressure medicine by half since we’ve been here! Kudos to him!!
To you, our readers, may I offer our deep gratitude for all the years of reading about our adventures. Some of you have commented on every single post and it is so very appreciated! Remember that my posts are stored on my website (LindaSpalla.com) if you need to research something from years ago. Sharing joy is easy, and I hope someday that one of my children or grandchildren will capture all of these posts and turn them into a best selling book!
Yes, indeed, Paris is my heart…the very best part of me, the part that opens a window and lets the light shine in, the part of me that has grown to understand acceptance, grace, tolerance and fraternity. I have discovered a new dimension to myself while here, and I’m never better in most ways than when in Paris. My wish is that each of you has the opportunity to experience what Paris can do for your view of the world. There is a reason it’s called “The City of Light.”
And to dear Bernie who first brought me here, “Merci mille fois, mon cher!”
Bonne chance and au revoir,
Linda
Here’s an archive of photos of the two of us through the years. And they were all taken by one of you! Do you remember?
July 20, 2025 @ 11:21 am
Lovely post! You have to come back;you simply must. Kudos to Bernie for his health kick in that regard. Paris is absolutely my heart’s well as grabbed me as a college student many years ago. I may wake up somewhere else most days , but my mind is in Paris everyday. Thanks for sharing your adventures with us.
July 20, 2025 @ 11:23 am
Beautiful pictures, beautiful writing ❣️ Thank you for sharing your Paris with us all, giving us views of it that most of us will never actually see to that depth! How wonderful it is, to travel with someone you love.
July 20, 2025 @ 11:26 am
Finishing up another year is bittersweet– but so much more sweet than bitter when it comes to Linda, Bernie and Paris. We enjoy traveling with you, even though we never leave home to do it. We’ve learned so much, recognize so many landmarks, and get hungry! because of your photographs. May the flight back home be eventless and your return to daily US life be a comfort, full of modern conveniences, friends and familiar spots. Glad to hear that Bernie is working on his health. I think these “old” guys just get in better shape as they age; they might be trying to show us how long they will last. And I’m grateful. Thanks for sharing, Linda. Love to both of you.
July 20, 2025 @ 11:56 am
Awwwww, what a lovely way to end your blog of this year’s trip! I have so enjoyed the high lights of your journey. The photos of you and Bernie are a perfect way to end this trip’s blog. Looking forward to seeing you back in steamy hot and rainy Huntsville.
Cindi
July 20, 2025 @ 12:03 pm
Thank you for sharing your insights and reflections with us all Linda! We have enjoyed them and been both informed and inspired by them.
My husband and I love Paris and we, too, face the realities of aging bodies, but hope to return again and see the restored Notre Dame. The way you and Bernie faced the physical challenges during your visit in December and this visit show us it can be done with courage and grace.
I hope you and Bernie have a safe and trouble free journey home!
July 20, 2025 @ 12:04 pm
Absolutely love all your posts! I really feel like I know you! Thank you!
July 20, 2025 @ 12:05 pm
I hope you go back next year and the year after!
I’ve loved following you and Bernie through one of my favorite cities. Thank you!
July 20, 2025 @ 12:16 pm
Thanks very much, Linda! Sorry this is the last for this year. appre hate your candor. Although it has been a number of years since I was in Paris, it has always been a very special place for me, and I really enjoy reliving some of my experiences through your eyes.
safe travels!
July 20, 2025 @ 1:00 pm
Wonderful, Linda!!!
July 20, 2025 @ 1:04 pm
Oh Linda I have so enjoyed your blog-this one especially. My first trip to Paris occurred last year so I’ve found I can relate to your post so much better now. I appreciate the time you’ve taken to share your experiences of this magical piece of the world.
July 20, 2025 @ 1:43 pm
LOVED the pictures of u and Bernie! ❤️
Amy
July 20, 2025 @ 1:43 pm
What a beautiful message, Linda. I hope the two of you do continue to visit Paris. I cannot imagine Paris without Bernie and Linda! Safe travels home, friend.
Jennifer
July 20, 2025 @ 2:29 pm
Safe travels home. Hot here too! I love starting my day with your blog. Love the insights on Paris. Wishes for more Oaris adventures. I am sure it is crowded. It seems so many folks here are traveling to Paris this summer!
July 20, 2025 @ 2:42 pm
What lovely words and thoughts. Yes, there are problems, but they are far outweighed by the wonderful things in our beloved Paris. We have had so many fun times with you and Bernie while there! I’m sorry we didn’t connect this year, but never say never…there is always next year and you may still be back in Paris, just in a different mode. Not au revoir, but a bien tôt! Hugs to you both. See you in Huntsville soon!
July 20, 2025 @ 2:49 pm
Linda, what a wonderful piece. Thank you!! Outlining the good and less good is a great frame for the story. I loved my visits with you and Bernie in Paris. I wish I had had more time to just be there and not have to work teaching, and be on a schedule. You helped me so much during the time I was researching Helen Keller in France. I can’t thank you enough! Enjoy your days there!
See you in Alabama soon. Love, Jeanie
July 20, 2025 @ 2:51 pm
Thanks again for a beautiful tour of Paris through your words and pictures!
July 20, 2025 @ 3:16 pm
Linda-
What a wonderful tribute to the city that you love and the man that you love! I believe that what you are saying is that they both have made you a better person.
As for your reflections, I am reminded of what the poet Mary Oliver wrote:
“ Pay attention. Be amazed. Tell about it. “
It has been a joy to vicariously experience the real Paris through your words and your photos.
Merci mille fois et bon voyage!!
Dorcas
July 20, 2025 @ 4:24 pm
Thank YOU for sharing your PARIS insights and experiences all these years. Reading about The city of Light from your perspective has been both an education and a joy. I’m grateful to Bernie too for being a delightful companion and an insider. I wish you both many more years of health and adventures.
July 20, 2025 @ 5:05 pm
Lovely
July 20, 2025 @ 5:26 pm
Linda,
You are an amazing person. I know this visit had serious health challenges for you. And yet, you made each day count in some way and forged ahead in spite of it all. I too will miss your musings in my email feed and the wonderful pictures of Paris and what you and Bernie did. Mayn you be able to retrun next year. How about September/October? Cooler for sure and maybe somewhat less crowded.
Wishing you and Bernie a healthy year back home
July 20, 2025 @ 6:53 pm
Thank you for all the wonderful photos and words. I certainly relate to getting older. To me Bernie seems to never age, thanks to being health conscious. I will miss drinking tea while reading your blog.
Thank you, Linda. Safe travels home.
July 20, 2025 @ 7:59 pm
Enjoyed and good luck
July 20, 2025 @ 8:05 pm
Oh so sad to see you go!
I don’t always comment, but I sincerely cherish every single post you make.
You and Bernie are such a lovely (and photogenic!) couple, and your commentary and photos make me feel as though I am in Paris with you.
I pray you both stay healthy and strong, and return to Paris next summer!
Sincerest best wishes to you both!
July 20, 2025 @ 9:38 pm
Thank you for sharing your time in Paris with us; aging can be frustrating, but you and Bernie make it an adventure. I cannot help but smile and feel good every time I read it. Photos are wonderful too. Safe travels home and welcome back to hot, hot Huntsville. Ever grateful for you. Ann Rivard
July 20, 2025 @ 11:04 pm
Love. Scottsboro Alabama has done for me what Paris has done for you. It is where I found my purpose and where my soul finds solace. Keep up the wonderful life you have created with Bernie. Today is a good day, – a great day – , to be alive. Next year, make adjustments, but continue to share the joy.
No matter where you go, there you are.
with sincerity and friendship,
Chris
July 21, 2025 @ 12:28 pm
What a beautifully layered love story! Such a lovely life!
July 21, 2025 @ 5:52 pm
Thanks, Linda…
Earle
July 21, 2025 @ 8:05 pm
A love story in its finest making, shared with friends for a decade. We appreciate being invited to the reveal parties annually. The photo gallery is exceptional. See ya soon!